So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
