In America we eat man semen.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize