I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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