i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
