I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
