Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
