whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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