In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
