i wish my penis had a tongue
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize