I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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