I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
