I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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