I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
