I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
