try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
