omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
