Someone shit on the floor
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
