why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
