it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
