I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
