id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm bleeding and have questions
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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