I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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