her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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