some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think a kid would responsible me up
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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