I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
