His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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