Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize