His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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