why didn't you poke me back
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
