i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
