i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
