Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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