Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
