you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
