im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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