is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
