how can u be prego again
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize