So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
