i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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