let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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