im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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