I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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