You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
