Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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