the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
