He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
