We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
