I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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