She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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