I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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