I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
