I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
