I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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