okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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