Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
