I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
