Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
