I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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