So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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