I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
